Four For the Fourth

Digesting the Gluttony of Summer Footy

Jul 05, 2024

The Summer of Footy has been relentless. With over 68 matches in 18 days, the EUROs and Copa America have overindulged fans. Now, ahead of each competition's quarterfinals, we finally have a two quiet days of no football to catch our breath and process the last three weeks…before looking ahead to the rest of the summer.

Looking Back: 4 Observations

1) The Fans

The biggest difference between the last Summer of Footy (2021) and now is that every stadium is full. The impact of fans at any match is obvious, but fans' impact at the EUROs has been especially extraordinary. The EUROs, in particular, do not sell many corporate or box seats. Therefore, each stadium is filled with only the most passionate fans. From the pregame build-up to the post-match celebrations, the environment these fans create elevates the intensity and stakes of every match. I especially want to shoutout the Romanian and Georgian fans for being the loudest heard on TV and the German sax player for being the MVP of my FYP.

2) Entertainers: Football's Endangered Species

Sports, like every industry in the world, have become hyper-efficient in the last 15 years. Game planning using data analytics started as a competitive advantage for teams but now is merely table stakes. The effect of this shift in game planning is clear across sports. Baseball has devalued slap hitters. Basketball has devalued midrange jumpers. Football has devalued entertainers. The abundance of electric wingers and magical number 10s of the 2000s is no more. Now, most teams want to robotically keep possession, create an overload, and then score off a cutback. Couple these tactics with the conservative nature of international football, and you produce a dull and uninspiring tournament. Quite a few countries (England, France, Portugal) fall into this bucket, but one nation has bucked this trend: Spain. Spearheaded by the youthful wing duo of Nico Williams (21) and Yamine Lamal (16), Spain aim to play inspiring football. They move the ball quickly, empower their young ballers to be creative with it, and play without fear. They are the clear standout team of this tournament because they not only win but also entertain. Thank you for keeping the beautiful game alive, Spain.

3) Brazil's Identity Crisis

Speaking of the beautiful game, Brazil is usually the one country you can count on to play "Joga Bonito." But as they transition to a new generation of players, they are struggling to find their identity for many reasons. First, they are without some prominent personalities in the dressing room (Neymar, Casemiro, Thiago Silva) and may not have a natural leader to galvanize the squad. I promise you no one is taking "captain" Danilo seriously. Second, the current Brazil squad is built best to counterattack. Brazilians traditionally expect to play a ball-dominant style, but embracing a more pragmatic approach would get more out of their squad. Their squad is filled with players to thrive in transition, and maximizing the best qualities of your best players should be any team's modus operandi. Lastly, and most unfortunately, Brazil is simply not as talented as past squads. Bringing on Andreas Pereira when you are chasing a winner says a lot.

4) Ronaldo Becomes Self-Aware

Cristiano Ronaldo is the greatest human ever to play football. Messi is an alien with skills gifted from above that no training can ever build. But not Cristiano. Cristiano's greatness comes from his discipline and his mentality. Even before he won a single Ballon d'Or, Cristiano believed that Cristiano was the best footballer in the world. And because he had the discipline to back up that mentality, Cristiano was able to scale the mountains of world football…and his confidence, ego, arrogance, whatever you want to call it, only grew as a result. He became the guy he always thought he was…the best in the world.

At 39, Cristiano is no longer sitting at the top and hasn't for a few years. But while his skills diminished, his ego didn't. He still takes every free kick. He still breaks out the OD stepovers. He still thinks he's HIM…or at the very least plays like it.

Even during the group stage of EURO 2024, where Ronaldo went scoreless, he still played like he thought he was the best. And honestly, why shouldn't he believe in himself? That mentality is what brought him success, so why should he abandon it? I suspect that Ronaldo, deep down, even knows he's washed in 2024 but is so disciplined to believe he is the best that he almost tricks himself into being delusional. That all changed on Monday.

After another horror show in open play, Ronaldo was given a chance to be the hero for the millionth time by taking his bread and butter: a high-stakes penalty. Except this time, he missed. And in the most surprising and fascinating turn of events, he started openly weeping on the pitch, even as the game was still tied. In the most humanizing moment of his legendary career, Cristiano Ronaldo realized, in real time, that he was washed. The delusion faded entirely away, and there was nowhere to hide. The tears that streamed down his Botox-filled cheeks were not of sadness that he let his country down. No, the tears came because he felt the abrupt and overwhelming feeling of finality. That realization and wave of emotion caused even the robot that is CR7 to be stripped down to his raw emotion and made for the single most fascinating moment of the Summer of Footy, so far.

Looking Ahead: 4 Predictions

1) USMNT Swing Big

As painful as the group stage exit was for the USMNT, the one silver lining is that it will (inshallah) be the end of G**** B ********'s reign as manager. I know he has been fired and re-hired before, but this will be the final end (I hope). With a young and talented squad and a home World Cup in 23 months, the USMNT's manager vacancy will be the most attractive it has ever been. I expect the USMNT to swing big and look to land a prestigious European coach to lead the lads and also galvanize the media. I'm looking at you, Jürgen Klopp (pipe dream).

2) Argentina Sit at the Highest Table

Argentina will cruise to the final and defeat Uruguay to lift a record 16th Copa America. With back-to-back Copa America trophies, 2021-2024 Argentina will be only the 2nd team in history (after 2008-2012 Spain) to win three major international tournaments in a row and will be seated at the highest table an international team can sit at.

3) Portugal x France Goes Dickens

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." That is how the star-studded quarterfinal will play out on Friday. It will be an extremely fascinating and frustratingly tedious 90 minutes. I will not be explaining this any further.

4) England Take Their (Second) Chance

England were eliminated from EURO 2024 last Sunday. Southgate was sacked. Slanderous headlines were printed. Players' IG accounts were getting abused. England was dead. It was over. But then, due to a stroke of pure genius from Jude Bellingham, it wasn't. Jude's 95th-minute bicycle kick was the biggest rewrite of the script I can ever remember in an international tournament. England and that bozo Gareth Southgate were handed, for no good reason, a second chance in this tourney…and my gut is telling me that means something. Surely there has to be a reason that this team, despite all its incompetency in this tournament, was given a lifeline, right? So, while my head is sure that Germany, Spain, or maybe even France will lift the trophy, my gut is telling me something I am scared to fully admit…but I think England will win the EUROs? I cringe even typing it and hate my gut for even thinking it. Let me go get my omeprazole.